Битеф

14

THE GLOSSARY OF CRISIS

I HANS MAGNUS ENCENSBERGER Economics produces its own vocabulary that, lately, has taken on a searing clarity heretofore unknown in financial circles. Here is a small excerpt from that lexicon: ABCP, ABS, CDO, CDS, CMO, MBS, SIV, SPV, acronyms; in English, mumbo-jumbo, nonsense, in■ comprehensible speech, obfuscation; incomprehensibility as an ideal of style; refers to the constant • babble of shell game hustlers. See, toxicity. I adviser; a bank employee who, like his clients, makes blind guesses but, in doing so, earns money for himself instead of losing it, especially when turnover is substantial. analyst; a term widely adopted from the English language, someone who for many reasons should not be permitted to claim to be analytical. Woe to those who turn themselves over to a therapist no couch can cure. 1 bad bank; an English neologism referring to what is generally understood as "black sheep," leaving , open the question as to whether there is such a thing as a "good bank." Cash for Clunkers (US), or Abwrackpraemie (Germany); a reward for destroying something usI able; the owner of the clunker, upon scrapping it, receives a redemption premium financed by taxpayers. Banks are similarly scrapped, in which case a bonus is paid to those managers responsible I for bankrupting the bank. I casino; a lawful enterprise in which the bank always wins. Can also be conducted over the Internet; see, online banking. • certificate; a piece of paper that guarantees investors maximum insecurity. chain letter; a mass mailing sent by financial circles that apparently is always welcomed by grateful recipients. See, pyramid scheme. Five Wise Men of Economy, the, or FUnfWirtschaftsweisen; colloquial term for the German Council I of Experts, or Sachverstandigenratzur Begutachtung dergesamtwirtschaftlichen Entwicklung ; a gathering of established and extremely well-paid fortune-tellers who are selected by the state. ' injection; a procedure familiar from the milieu of narcotics, used to administer large doses so as to . stabilize the bloodstream of the addict and to avoid a withdrawal crisis. nationalization; an ideal of the communist party for whose realization large banks zealously pray.

Translators' note. Translated from the German into Serbian by Gudrun Krivokapit, and from the Serbian into English by Barbara Davis. To preserve the author's glossary form, alphabetical order of the elements has been adapted in translation.