Chinese Literature

But then she made up her mind. She would speak the words she had prepared, regardless. Only there seemed to be a weight pressing down in her bosom. Her speech and her breathing were very uneven.

“I—I asked you to come, because I wanted to ask you something. You remember the fourteenth, the night the lanterns were lit at the tombs? You came looking for me at my father’s tomb. You said you wanted to talk to me. But then you hemmed and hawed and never did speak out. So I’m asking you—what exactly were you trying to say?”

Hsiao-chang’s heart began to thump. “That night ... 1 was afraid fo tell you... .”

He had said he wanted to talk to her about something, and had asked her, “Will you let me say it?” She had replied, “If it’s something you ought to say, then say it. Otherwise, don’t.” Her reply seemed to have closed the door on his words. She was afraid she had spoken too sharply.

“Well, what am I—a tiger? I won’t bite you. What did you want to say?”

Hsiao-chang hesitated. His heart was beating madly. Funny. Just a paper-thin reserve was holding him back, yet he didn’t dare to push through. Under Chun-mei’s repeated urgings, he finally began to speak. Only this time, Hsiao-chang, who usually expressed himself so well, was all sputters and stammers.

“T think—you—you’re like my older sister.... That year we worked for the landlord, you—you saved my life. ... I’ve been thinking a lot about this. If I say anything wrong, you can cuss me a little, but you mustn’t hold it against me—”

“Aiya!’ Chun-mei exploded. She slapped her hand down on the ice-cold boulder. “That kind of talk gives me the ereeps! Since being born two months ahead of you makes me an ‘older sister,’ if you say something wrong it’ll just go in one ear and out the other!”

Hsiao-chang paused and got control of himself with an effort. Then, as though preparing to lift a heavy burden, he took a great breath.

“Chun-mei, I’ll say it plain, then. We ought to get married... .”

Though the night was cold, Chun-mei could feel her face burning. Her heart was pounding as if it wanted to leap right out of her. She suddenly realized that Hsiao-chane had stopped talking, that he seemed to be waiting for her answer. She twisted sideways, her breasts straining against her clothing. To the deep black night sky, she forced out a reply.

“All right, Pll marry you!”

Much to her own surprise, the words virtually leapt from her mouth, as though bounced out by a spring. She didn’t dare to look at Hsiaochang; she didn’t know what was his reaction. A faint sound indicated that he had gotten to his feet. Chun-mei couldn’t resist turning around. Hsiao-chang was standing before her,

“Chun-mei, thank you!”

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